Editors Note:
I have three kids, currently 12, almost 10 and newly 8 years old, and man, have they taught me a lot and they continue to teach me in parenting. Together we have created a deeper love for the outdoors and all things fly fishing. I’d like to say it has taken time, a lot of patience, a lot of learning, trying new things and never, ever, giving up. Our family fishing adventures tend to be fairly seamless more recently but it didn’t start out that way. In writing this, I hope to share a few ideas that have worked for us and might help prepare you in your next successful family fishing outing. I encourage you to keep trying new things until you find what works for you and your family. Take with you what you find most helpful and please, take your kids fishing, you will not regret it.
As I look back on taking my very young kids (toddler, infant, newborn) fly fishing, I laugh. I had it in my head that I get to catch fish, all while teaching my kids to catch fish. Everything would be easy and everything would be awesome all the time. The kids and I were in for a wild ride. There were days that we’d run through all of Harper Mae’s newborn clothes due to messy blown-out diapers, to nursing her in the Baby Bjorn so I could keep fishing, telling my kids to go pee in the bushes right off the main trail, to melt downs and tears from both the kids and myself – keep in mind, each one of these “rough days” had beautiful moments. The wonderful moment when Emery ties an improved clinch knot perfectly, to working on his bloodknots and tying his sister’s rig (in turn teaching her as well). From Harper Mae netting her big brother’s fish, her face expression full of joy for him. To Addison giving me a big hug and saying “Mom, I am so happy we are here.” Those moments or even days where everything goes ‘right’ fills me with gratitude. I can take all the good, the bad and the ugly moments and give appreciation that they all have helped develop and lead me to become a better parent, student and teacher.
I believe the most important gift we can share with our children is love, and help create a love for the outdoors. As I continue to raise my kids in this lifestyle, that is fly fishing, I find myself checking off the below list before heading out or even revisiting this list as the day progresses. The best part is that as we continue to learn together we simply make adjustments.
Attitude is everything. Your mood sets the ‘success’ tone not only for you but your kids as well, collectively together for the day or the short adventure. Most recently Emery and I went on a DIY swing steelhead trip and had great success, not just because he landed a fish of a lifetime, but because our attitude and our expectations were all in the right place. We both stepped out of our box of comfort and we had an unforgettable time.
Safety. Check conditions before you go.
Extra clothes and extra clothes for those back ups and extra waders, boots, regular shoes if possible and if necessary. Simms make a great youth wader that can handle the wear a kid can put on them.
A. Lot. Of. Snacks. Annnnd extra snacks. We prepare snacks before we leave and try to utilize reusable containers as it will limit any potential micro trash getting away from their little fingers. For lunch we do something as simple as tuna sandwiches. My kids are assigned to pack what they individually want to bring – it gives them a chance to be responsible. It gives me a brain break on the mental checklist as I’m going over what not to forget. Mom note: I would suggest to double check what they pack, only because we did have a time where all Harper Mae brought were Jolly Ranchers for her snack. Where did she even get these?
Make it a game. “We are never more fully alive, more completely ourselves, or more deeply engrossed in anything than when we are playing.” -Charles Schaefer
Find their interest and keep them involved. Each one of my kids learn very differently and they each find certain things interesting. It is a good reminder to find what works for everyone. For Addison, she didn’t like bugs to start but later on I was able to ask her to draw or photograph them – she loves all things art. So if you have someone that’s not into alien looking creatures then perhaps through the following ideas that worked for us, you can find a few that work for you:
Write down the day’s adventure. Just like you might in your fishing journal. Or even better, have your kids help you recall what bugs you saw or what flies worked. Let them tell you about the HUGE fish that got away, or the Osprey diving into the water 3 times before it taloned a fish. Add in the art they created. Write down what went right? What would you do differently for the next outing? Ask them what snacks they would want for next time. How was your attitude? How were the kids?
Be Encouraging and reflect. Like I shared above, reliving the day on what you learned together is an opportunity to connect. Tell your kids how much you appreciate them for joining you in such a fun adventure. Let them hear you’re proud of them, how they had a great attitude, how well they casted or acknowledge how they were so patient with their sibling. I let my kids know how grateful I am to get to do this with them. We take turns and go through our favorite part of the day.
I also want to reflect that this all takes practiced patience, keep trying and reflect on the positive. If you found that you lost your patience in a moment of having to untangle or tie a new fly on again, remember the best part is that you can make the active choice in being patient when the next opportunity to lovingly untangle or suggest to your little one to first try it themselves the best they can. I found that the more and more I let them be independent, they enjoyed the independence and over time, Emery can do everything himself! But only if I step back and let him. In the beginning I did get pushback and tears from his frustration, however, I always tried to remain calm and encouraging. I was proud that even if the tangle was impossible of recovery, the fact he attempted it himself is what I was so proud of him doing.
Plan the next adventure together. Together we decide where we should go and what we should bring. When they get to be a part of the planning process it makes them more excited to get out again. With that said, Addison still takes a little convincing but she has ALWAYS enjoyed the moment when we are there together. When she shares with me, “I’m glad we are here.” – I do a little Napoleon Dynamite “YES!” inside – all that calmness I projected when she was saying she didn’t want to go paid off! Whoohoo!
As all of us continue to expand as a family in our fishy community I feel grateful for the opportunity to share, learn, and grow with you. I want to say thank you to my friends and family for their shared patience in our adventures together. I appreciate all the encouragement and support you’ve given me and my children. From my fishy family to yours, tight lines, and we hope to see you out there!!